Fam[ily]

Isn't family suppose to be the ones who love you no matter who you are or what you do. We all know that no one is perfect. We do stupid things that we might regret but they are all lessons learned. The meaning for family for me means, someone who will be by your side thru the good and bad, who will push you to accomplish your goals, who will support you in ANY kind of way, and of course someone who will love you no matter the kind of person you have become. Sometimes I wish the meaning of family would define MY family. It's hard sometimes to pretend you're happy when in reality you're falling apart deep down inside. I don't want to be seen as a girl who gives up on everything, I'm moving on with the biggest smile on my face but honestly I'm being a fake. I let everyone know I'm fine when in fact I'm dying inside. I guess you can say I never in my life knew what happiness felt life and I still don't. Sometimes I think about my past and wonder what the FUCK did i do to deserve everything I been thru. I keep all my feelings to myself, I don't talk to any of my friends or cousins or sister or mom or dad or aunt or uncle, about my problems. I feel like if they're my problems than I should deal with them on my own. But I can't take it anymore I feel like I might blow up any second. Nobody knows me completely but myself. No one knows what I been thru, no one has been in MY position. I myself have been on everyone's side, i been there for them when they needed someone to save them but why does it seem like no one can be there for ME? I guess I'm on this on my own.

My first!

Well this would be my first blog ever. Pretty exciting, right? haha but I pretty much decided to start this blogging well because I just feel like letting it all out by typing it all down =) Well I hope you all enjoy my future blogs and I will try my best to make them interesting ad real all the way>